September’s Intention of the Month: Self-Reflection

Wow— HI September. Where the fuck did you come from?

Safe to say this summer ended up not only being one of my fastest to date, but by far one of my weirdest, challenging, heartbreaking, and transformative ones. You guys may have noticed I’ve been a little MIA on the blog over the past month; I’m not totally ready to talk about what’s been going on in my personal life, but for now, let’s just say I’ve been going through some life experiences which have and will leave me forever changed.

… Not to be dramatic or anything.

I’m not the only one impacted by this event, so partially because I’m not ready, but also out of respect, I will be holding off on any deep dives or detailed life updates for a bit. Sharing my life with you has always been such a pure and therapeutic method for me to work out my shit, and in the near future, I hope that I can share my stories as a way to process, have a record of my own thoughts, and maybe help some of you who are going through something similar.

Over the last few weeks, I have been focusing all of my energy on myself. Which, to be honest, I don’t feel like I had been doing for a while. In the middle of my self-described identity and existential crisis, I have been left wondering how to better myself. How to better my life. I’ve been asking some very difficult questions: Who am I? Who am I supposed to be? And how do I get there? The answers aren’t black and white, but I think simply asking them is the right place to start.

September has always been one of my favorite months, fall being my most beloved season— the season that best feels like a true beginning. To quote Fitzgerald, “Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall.” (As an English major who has read Gatsby five gazillion times I need to mention that a big pet peeve of mine is people quoting totally out of context, but UGH, I just really love this sentence. It rings so beautiful and so true). That all said, this month seems like the perfect time to roll this out…

I am excited to share one of my personal goals through a new series on the blog, which I am truly just so, so excited to be writing and working on. I think it not only will help bring me change and personal growth in a time I desperately need it, but hopefully will be a cool thing you could bring into your own life too!

Intention of the Month

I got the concept of setting an “intention” from my pilates and barre classes actually. In a workout practice, this can be a longterm goal or even just a goal within the class; maybe it’s committing to working out a certain number of days, or to not focus on anything outside the studio when you’re there. It promotes being present, mindful, purposeful, and of course, intentional.

At the start of every month, I will detail the specific intention I have chosen to focus on, why it’s something I am hoping to bring to the month ahead, ways I’m going to try and practice it, and at the end of the month, I will reflect on how it has impacted me, if there are any ways it has surprised me, and how I will continue to practice and apply this to my life.

September’s Intention is Self-Reflection, something that I really feel like I need to put some work into. To me, this is all about assessing your past, your present, your future, and all the factors that have an impact. It means checking in with yourself, physically, emotionally, spiritually. It means holding yourself accountable for your choices and actions, owning mistakes, and being your own worst critic when you need to be. It also means giving yourself kindness and softness when you deserve it.

Over the last 6 months or so, I found myself feeling a little lost and disconnected from the self I thought I had all figured out. And it fucking terrified me, especially since I had no idea how I had gotten so off track. My life seemed close to perfect; I kept telling myself that it was, and that I should be grateful and accepting of that. But I couldn’t. This month, I want to figure out what happened. One of the biggest positive takeaways from this summer was that I followed my gut, even if I didn’t fully understand what it was telling me. I know this is something that I need to keep doing. It’s pretty crazy what can already exist within us— answers, choices, life paths— even if they don’t seem obvious.

September’s itinerary is going to include a TON of reading and writing, as well as other things that allow me to be creative and express myself. Three weeks ago I purchased and started working on this amazing exercise journal called “52 Lists for Happiness.” The concept is simple; it’s divided into four sections: Reflect, Acknowledge, Invest, Transform, and for each week you fill out a simple list (an example of each being: list what makes you happy right now, list the ways you enjoy being kind to others, list the things you’re curious about, list the things in your home, your closet, and your heart that you are ready to rid yourself of. DAMN OK).

You start with the Reflect lists and over the year, make your way to the Transform lists, which I think seems like a totally natural progression of thought and reflection. I love to get deep and really think about things like this so I think this is gonna be right up my alley! I’m three lists in and am already super eager to see how I’m feeling by list 52 (in a whole year eee!).

I also just picked up an adult coloring book called “Anti-Stress: Meditation Through Coloring“. It was influenced by neuroscience studies and is filled with pages of intricate geometric  designs, along with specific instructions of how to color them in. Focusing your brain through the use of patterns, repetition, single-focus, and creativity is apparently awesome for brain health and can teach us ways to use our mind’s resources for dealing with stress, or learning to approach difficult situations in a different way. It can also help improve your mood, kindle creativity, and forge new neural pathways and connections in our brains. Really cool stuff. Will definitely will keep you guys posted about this one!

I got myself a cute new blank journal, because it’s been forever since I’ve had one (I’ve kept journals since I was like 7 years old); they are the perfect safe space to process your emotions and get in tune with your inner voice.

I’ve heard great things about the book “You Are A Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living An Awesome Life,” and just picked it up at a local book store; it’s a relatable and modern self-help book that supposedly is super motivational for living your best life and figuring out how to put all the bullshit aside and start doing it. Gonna start reading it at the cottage this long weekend!

Additional “homework” I’m assigning to myself: Spending time alone, figuring out how I enjoy spending my time alone and how to be happy with just myself, spending more time outdoors and in nature, get into yoga and try out different types of pilates classes, and continuing to listen to my gut and acting on my best instincts.

Would love to hear what you guys think about this new series! Leave a comment below or shoot me a DM on Instagram if you’re interested in joining this little journey of self-love and intention with me 🙂