Getting Back On Track

Teddy Fleece Moto Jacket // Retro Stripes Sweater // Fur Pom Beanie // Hudson Skinny Jeans // Free People Brown Boots

Happy Friday my darlings!

How was everyone’s week?

If I’m being fully honest, I have been in such a FUNK recently. Feeling anxious, on edge, super uninspired with all things blog related, unmotivated at work, haven’t been able to muster the energy to even change out of pajamas for the day (I work from home, which makes it… somewhat ok?). All of which is crazy to me! I mean, I just had all this time off work to recharge, got to go on this incredible vacation with my family, and just moved into a beautiful new apartment. I should be feeling on cloud nine, ready to tackle the world, but instead I’ve been feeling….. Meh.

Going into a new year always throws me for a loop; I get off my regular schedule, I make excuses for putting things off “because it’s the holidays,” and then the month of January in Chicago is just a bummer in general. So even though there’s been a lot of fun and excitement going on, I’ve been off, and have just been waiting for this feeling to pass! Which I can finally say is on it’s way out #byeeee

Nothing like a healthy dose of Friday to help a girl out, am I right?

I have officially pulled out my planner post vacation to help me get back into my routine and force me to lay out everything I need to do each day (which always holds me accountable). Something about seeing everything written out really helps me not procrastinate. For some reason it’s a loooot easier to ignore a to-do list in your head, versus seeing one you wrote out for yourself. Doesn’t hurt that I’ve been known to write myself sassy messages, and the occasional threat, when I reaaaally really need to get going on things.

Another huge, unignorable, crushing weight on my chest for the last few days of my holiday vacation was going back to work. I was still off when my inbox resumed flooding, and I just felt kind of panicked. I had been out of office for close to three weeks, and I felt really disconnected from my normal work self- I just couldn’t shake this feeling of “wow, I suck at this. I’ll never get promoted. I don’t know what I’m doing. Everyone’s asking me all these technical questions and I don’t know how to answer them. I’m scared of going back to the constant pressure and stress.”

Here’s the thing about my job, and my company in general; It’s a highly intense culture. And it’s definitely been something for me to get used to over the last year and a half I’ve been working full time. I tend to swing on the sensitive side, especially when I’m stressed or nervous. So I’ve really had to work on building up thicker skin, learning to not get thrown when someone challenges or questions me, asks me to do something I don’t know how to do, pushes me to think outside the box… When I think about the truth in this and break it down, it makes sense. Like yeah, that should be expected.

Except, when I was going off vaycay mode back into work mode, all I could focus on were the intense emotions I was experiencing. I was just been soooo fragile and sensitive. My first week back, there weren’t any fires to put out, and it’s as smooth of a transition back as could be. But I was still in my weird funk, and needing some sort of push.

I gave myself a really legit pump up talk about crushing work, believing in myself, pushing myself to work harder, learn more, be a better team member. Just a little me to me chit chat. Which honestly, for me is as good as it comes. Don’t get me wrong; I am so fortunate to have so many people in my life I can turn to for advice or support.

But it’s when I tell myself: “Girlie. You. GOT this. You are smart. You are hard working. You are a fast learner. You are deserving of your job”

… that’s when things really start to look up.

Seriously, I encourage all of you to check in with yourself sometimes. Look in the mirror. Write it down on a note in your phone. Close your eyes and repeat it over and over, whatever “it” needs to be. (And know that if you ever need a little mental boost of any kind, I’m a resource for ya! Shoot me an email or DM on Instagram and I’d be more than happy to lend a pair of ears 🙂 )

Hope you all have a fun, restful, and/or productive weekend!