23 Things I’ve Learned In 23 Years

Dress // Bag // Necklace

Today is a good day. I’m writing this as I drink my coffee in my family’s condo in Toronto, the city I was born and raised in and consider home over anything else, I just got the clearance from work to take the day off (still reachable by phone in case of emergency… so fingers crossed there aren’t any emergencies) and it’s my 23rd birthday. I’m with my family, I’m in my favorite city, and I just feel really happy.

I’ve always viewed my birthday as a day that goes hand in hand with reflection; it’s marked in time by an event, (being my birth), so I can easily look back and remember exactly what I was doing 1, 3, 5 years back. My last year has been one of my best; in fact, there seems to have been an upward trend with my life over the last few years. High school and early years of college were marked with heartbreak, rejection, break-ups, fights with friends, sense of unknowing, being in a perpetual state of overwhelmingness. The difficulties in planning next life steps— where will I live after I graduate, what will I do, who will I be? Not to dismiss all the good and happiness I’ve had in my life, I just recall that up until a certain point, things seemed harder and more challenging.

It’s no coincidence that as I’ve grown up and matured—cliched, but “come into my own,” there have been tons of changes with how I live my life, my standards for the people I spend time with, expectations I put on myself… These are the top 23 lessons I’ve learned, many truths I’ve only really started to grasp within the last few years, but they have become my guiding principles and have made my life better than it ever has been:

*in no particular order

1. Figure out what your passions are
   • This definitely did not happen overnight for me. After I graduated high school, I stopped doing track and theatre, my two main activities for years and years, and in college, never really seemed to replace them. I wasn’t really the “club” type, and I basically went a few years without reaaaally doing anything… And let me tell ya, it took a toll. I started blogging in March of my senior year, and it’s like a switch went off. My blog is by far the most prized possession and biggest passion in life; it’s a huge part of my identity, I love doing it, and I love that it is all my own.
2. Remove the toxic people from your life
   • For too long I put up with people that, to put it bluntly, were undeserving of being in my life. Any friend who puts you down to feel better about themselves, who talks about you behind your back, makes you question your self-worth, is not a friend worth keeping. Any boyfriend that plays games, is disrespectful, and keeps you in a perpetual state of tears and heartbreak, is not the guy for you. This one was by far the hardest lesson I’ve ever learned, mostly because it was so hard to 1) recognize these types of people for who they are, and 2) break things off with people I for some reason loved and cared about. But the day I woke up and realized they were all gone from my life was the day I was finally able to start loving myself, and seeing what happiness is supposed to be.
3. Drink lots of water, eat your vegetables
   • On this topic, I will just say that I personally don’t deprive myself of anything or make any food off limits. I eat as healthy as I can, I drink water all throughout the day and pack my meals with as many veggies as I can. I definitely did noooot live this way in college, but I now find that my energy levels, skin, mood, really everything is improved when I eat a healthy diet. But I also know that pasta and donuts make me happy, so I eat them sometimes too dammit. 
4. Find your routine
   • Whatever that may be. I find such a sense of calmness and order in even just the little things; I work from home, so during the week, I get up at 7:15 every day, make my coffee, brush my teeth and wash my face, vacuum and tidy up my little studio apartment, and have a little bit of time to relax and prep for my 8 am daily status calls. It really just gets me mentally prepped to have a good day/week. Like I said, sometimes it’s just a combination of little things that are enough to get you up in the morning.
5. Be present, live in the moment
   • I remember being a little kid and just wanting to be older. I’ve always had this part of me that looks forward to a different point in time, convincing myself that once I’m X age, or living X, or at X school, things will be perfect. It’s a kind of romanticizing that is usually never what you envision it to be, and it makes you miss out on the life you actually are living. I think back and this is definitely one of my bigger regrets in life, especially when I was young— I get super nostalgic about those days now!
6. Read the news
   • Be informed, educate yourself. Know what is going on in the world so you can have an opinion about it. What you do about that opinion is up to you, but everyone should have one.
7. Don’t take yourself too seriously
   • My Instagram feed is a heaaavily edited reality; if you’ve ever watched my Insta Stories, you might have noticed that I’m kind of an oddball. I love being weird and silly and the people that are weird and silly with me are the people I love the most. Life is a lot more fun when you can just be yourself.
8. Don’t give a sh*t about what people say about you
   • Within reason of course, ha. But in general, life is too short to care what people think— Another lesson it took me a while to finally get. Literally in high school I for some reason was afraid to wear maxi dresses to school because I was worried what people would think or say. Like… what?!? Who. Cares.
9. When things get tough, take deep breaths
   • Overly simplifying things, but whenever I get super overwhelmed or frustrated or angry or upset… I put myself in a little room by myself, and just breathe. I’ve found that it often solves most problems.
10. Live within your means
    • Learn how to save, learn what’s worth splurging on, learn how to budget.
11. Pet as many puppers as you can
    • Not even kidding. I love dogs and if I see a particularly cute doggo walking down the street I will immediately ask their owner if I can say hello. Always makes my day thaaaat much better.
12. Talk to strangers
    • I always used to get so embarrassed by my mum, who is the QUEEN of this, but now I find myself doing it without even thinking about it. Human communication is a powerful thing.
13. Don’t take anyone for granted
    • Once you’ve determined who the good ones are, treat them the way they should be treated. Simple as that.
14. Find your fitness niche  
    • Even if it’s just going on a 30 min walk a few days a week, there’s no denying that exercising is soooooo so important for like a billion reasons. I’ve found that once you find something you genuinely enjoy doing, then it won’t feel like exercise. Over the last few years, barre classes have become my all time favorite work out. They make me feel strong, they make me push myself, and (I think) they’re fun as hell.
15. Experience new things
    • Travel, eat something crazy, go to one of those “eat in the pitch dark” restaurants, go on a Tinder date, the list is endless. Since graduating from school in Boston, I have been trying to explore Chicago as much as I can, and even though my family’s lived 35 min north in the burbs for 15 years, I have found such a new found love and appreciation even just through exploring and adventuring through the different neighborhoods.
16. Be kind
    • Self-explanatory. It feels good 🙂
17. Take risks
    • Whether that is with your career or deciding to go skydiving in Switzerland, I don’t believe we were made to live in a bubble. Fear shouldn’t be enough to keep you trapped in one. After my freshman year of college I transferred schools, I started a job in technology after majoring in English, I did a full year of long distance with my now long term boyfriend after only knowing him for a single summer. Sometimes taking a risk can turn out to be the best decision of your life.
18. Master the art of being alone
    • As a child, I could not entertain myself. In high school, if there was ever a weekend night I didn’t have plans, I felt self-conscious and depressed, like I was a loser. Now…. I more or less live for it. Maybe because “alone time” is pretty rare and therefore sacred. I watch my shows, I blast my music in my apartment, I go for a walk, I read my book, I check in with myself and just spend some time in my own head. It’s good for the soul, I think.
19. Get outside as often as you can
    • Whenever I’m having a tough day at work I will sometimes just go and stand out on my balcony for a few minutes and just soak up the sunshine. Instant pick me up. I grew up camping and going on intense canoe trips though my summer camp, so that is kind of my ideal, but even just getting a little dose of nature is usually enough to turn my day around.
20. Stand up for what you believe in
    • Make your voice heard; be true to yourself and respect the values that you have.
21. Don’t be too hard on yourself
    • Life is a rollercoaster, I’ve learned. It’s not supposed to always supposed to be perfect, and neither are you.
22. Challenge yourself
    • Whether it’s at work, school, fitness, really anything… Sometimes a change needs to be made, and you are the only person who has the power to make it happen.
23. Accept yourself as who you are now, not who you want to be
    • Maybe the hardest one of them all. I think a lot of this comes with not comparing yourself to others, and celebrating what makes you unique and special. Which is definitely easier said than done. Love yourself, and be true to who you are. Once you have the power to do this, you have the power to do anything 🙂

 

This was a long one, so thanks for reading!