Bachelor Night with SYLTBAR

This post is sponsored by SYLTBAR Sparkling Rose.

Normally, Monday’s in January in Chicago are not something I would ever look forward to. But somehow, they are now one of my fave days of the week… One of my fave times of the year… All thanks to Bach Nation. (Insert rose emoji here). It is a time for my friends and I to get together, to drink copious amounts of wine, and to check out of our own lives and into the lives of these trainwreck drunk girls and this season, the always mumbly, certified douchebag, Nick.

It’s just the best. It makes me happy. It makes me cringe. I am pumped.

I am equally pumped to be jotting down my thoughts as I watch. I normally would speak them out loud, but people don’t tend to enjoy watching TV like that. So I’ve learned.

Let’s begin:

Cut to scene 1. Wrapping up some irrelevant Liz drama. No one seems to care that much. I know I personally have moved on.

Nick. What is that floral tie.

Fun fact regarding Nick and men’s fashion. My inside sources claim that when he used to work for Salesforce in Chicago, all he would do is sit on his computer and online shop on Trunk Club. Someone this doesn’t surprise me. Also, why does he continue to present himself as a “software executive?” Like boy no, you are now “reality tv personality.” Just own up to it.

Friends and I are concerned that because we are now seeing a rose ceremony that there won’t be another one this episode.

Okay this is now kinda irrelevant because she  was just sent home, but “from” Dallas, yellow dress Elizabeth #2 (#3?), with the crazy thick accent, went to my high school. In Chicago. So ya, that accent be fake as dolphin Alexis’s boobs.

ANYONE ELSE FREAKING ABOUT THE BACKSTREET BOYS?? So ideal.

Lol to how pissed Nick is at Corinne for ditching the rose ceremony. Like… I know that there are no rules in the Bach mansion… but.. that’s not allowed.

#PoutyCorinne4President

Oh hey look the girls are in red again!

Okay, watching the girls watch Nick and that chick make out while on stage at the backstreet boys was like the most stressful thing I’ve ever witnessed. Like I’m pretty sure Corinne is going to annihilate that girl in her sleep.

“He made Corinne Corinne again” -Corinne

#Where’sCorinne

Is this chick severely medicated or something? Like why is our good pal Corn asleep like 19 hours a day?

Oh. my. god. Corn is talking about hey nanny and how she like can’t imagine having kids because she can barely take care of herself and how her nanny does everything for her. Like makes all her meals, makes her bed, does her laundry. And according to C, nanny LOVES doing this shit. I can NOT with this girl!!

But I also LOVE it. Keep it coming crazy Corinne.

“I’ve had to do some big girl stuff today. And I don’t like it.” OKAY so actually… this girl is just saying what everyone else is thinking. Like I literally said this to myself this AM. So.

This is bad. I feel bad about this. In my fantasy league, I predicted that one of the girls would throw up on a date with Nick…  Soooo that scene where Vanessa throws up kinda works out in my favor. Plus, it just made her seem really relatable and it made me like her. So there’s that. I am all for this relationship and officially on Team Vanessa.

I turned my direction away from the episode for no joke 7 seconds to talk to my friends and I turn back around and Nick is crying. Wait, when did that happen? How did that just happen??

Hahaha my friend just goes, “Did he just say “make a baby”?” It’s a valid question.

Commercial break side note, drinking sparkling rose while watching The Bachelor, while wearing my Wildfox “Rose All Day” pullover, was the best decision I made today.

Is “Bachelor Meets Olympic athletic workout” something I can sign up for? I admit this is something I would be down to take.

WHY IS THERE A HOT TUB. In the middle of a track. Okay can this show get any more ridiculous??

My group has  deemed Dom’s talk with Nick irrelevant, so we talked over it. Oh, and yep, There it is, she just got sent home. Bai.

“Cheers you ladies!” -Nick. I don’t know why this made me cringe. I just do not think I am a fan of him.

CORINNE. IN. THE. BOUNCY. CASTLE. I have nothing else to say. This whispering little baby voice she’s using. There are no words.

~ End Scene ~

… I freaking love this show.

Photo details: Wildfox Pullover

Metallic Cowhide Rug

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Xo,

Meghan